Calming my brain I stared at the night sky, a few stars had already peaked out from their hiding places, taking the spots next to the moon high in the sky. Tried to think of nothing but slowly traces of Laith swirled back around my thoughts. Was it my fault? Did I not give in enough? I had stood my ground or was that just stubbornness. Someone really needed to write the rule book, the guidelines for cohabitation and a relationship book for dummies. I suddenly felt like Beth was standing over my shoulder giving me her strength. It was not my fault! I stood my ground like I should have and it was definitely all Laith’s fault. Jackass. Closing my eyes and remembering how it felt to kiss him, his smell, how good the sex had been and then, remembering the sting of his hand on my face. Not my fault. Tears that no longer could be held back erupted from my eyes. Sobbing I wrapped myself tighter in the blanket and cried into its softness. The moon and her stars the only witnesses.. So I learned to accept the position that my husband put me in. A position of servitude to him, and total sexual submissiveness. I was a virgin on our wedding night, and my new husband wasted no time changing that fact. I was so young and naïve and he was older than I was. I knew my only chance in the world was to find a man to take care of me and provide for me as my Father did for my Mother and me. I just never had any idea the price I would pay.But to be honest, I did learn to enjoy myself. Only on a few occasions did Tom’s punishments seem a bit harsh and truly painful. Nevertheless, they were important lessons and I learned never to disappoint him. I’m sure some people would tell me my husband was abusive to me and in some way that may be true. On my second day of marriage, I ended up with my arms tied to the headboard while he whipped my ass with his leather belt, all because I wouldn’t give him a blow job. And I learned, because I have never refused to suck him off since.Then.
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